10 Steps to Thrive in Motherhood: Plan Your Days for Peace & Purpose

I love spring. It's one of my favorite short-lived seasons for its easily inspired creativity, the anticipation of what's to come, and for the fresh new start it brings... and for many of us, it's a time of preparing for the warmer days, getting our garden beds ready, and trying to balance living in the present while also accomplishing all our to-do lists and dreams. I have noticed that this is about the time for many people (including me), anxiety has kicked in from being cooped up all winter and many are ready to get out and finally live their lives, sound familiar? It can be so easy to feel overwhelmed and discouraged by the amount of tasks on our list and not want to forget about living in the present moment with our loved ones, while also getting things done and doing all that's in our heart to do. So how can we do both? I wish the answer was so straight forward otherwise this would be a much shorter blog post, but the reality is that many of us are caught in this reoccurring tension and it's not as linear as we think (or hope). But thankfully, there are some ways we can find our flow and work towards efficiency while pursuing meaningful connections.

While we can be mindful of our priorities, I find that it can be so easy to lose ourselves in the process. I know for me, perfectionism can creep in, trying to always find the perfectly balanced life, and then I have to remind myself that life will always ebb and flow and so will my schedule. I've always been a naturally free-flowing person who loves spontaneity, but there was a time where I was more like a deer in the headlights when it came to getting things done or knowing where to start in organizing my time, nevertheless my days. I needed a strategy to organize all my tasks for the upcoming days, weeks, and possibly months. But my mom brain felt like everything felt urgent but in reality, not everything was important. Then I got really good at applying structure to my days but then I became overly focused on efficiency, and it felt stressful whenever my schedule didn't unfold as planned. Structure, organization, and systems are needed! But I learned that I needed to prioritize not too many of the right things until I was able to find myself more relaxed and flexible within my set parameters. As mothers, we certainly don't want to forget the original purpose for establishing those boundaries. We want to find a way to balance connection and achievement. For the more ambitious mom, who likely thrives on systems and schedules, it’s important to pause and recharge to avoid burnout. And for the moms who love to be present but find themselves constantly behind on tasks, a little bit of planning ahead can keep the stress at bay. Maintaining a healthy balance requires both structure and the ability to flow, allowing us to stay on course towards our goals while also nurturing our relationships.

I’ve personally found that using a planner has been a game-changer in helping me stay organized with my days while also making space for rest and connection. I love my Papier planner as it has everything I need for planning ahead and helping me navigate what helps me focus and what distracts me in the process. And in my day to day living, I created this FREE weekly planner that I have laminated and put on my fridge that I can see daily. From planning meals, to kids' acitivities and tracking my health, relationships and other intentions, it has really helped me become more intentional in this area, and I finally feel like I’ve found a rhythm that works well for our growing family. So whether you struggle with finding time for rest or creating a schedule, this blog post is for you! It’s all about knowing where you’re at and what you’re needing. Now let's get to creating a plan that balances both connection and productivity!

1. Write down & list your roles/responsibilities 

We all have our areas of responsibilities depending on the season of life we're in, even as mamas! Do you have a newborn? Multiple kids? A job? A dog? You get the point... we probably have way more responsibilities than we realize which is why it's so enlightening to write them all down! First, I like to list my roles to highlight my responsibilities, then I know what my priorities are! For instance... I know that I, as an individual have a role to care for myself as an individual and Daughter of God (since I'm a follower of Jesus), so that is my upmost priority first thing everyday. If I can't take care of myself first, I can't take care of anyone else, so my selflessness is dependent on my well-being as a whole person: body, soul, mind & spirit -- making sure I'm filled up in those areas with me & God. It makes it so much easier to know how to set up my day when I know who to take care of first so that I can focus on everyone else the rest of the day! Next, after my "individual/daughter" role, will be wife, then mother. These other roles take precedence over any other relationship because they are my most precious and intimate responsibility that I chosen to have in my life. The more I pour into my marriage, the happier our whole home will be. And as I pour into my children, I am raising them as arrows from my quiver that I'm sending out into the world one day. Not only am I raising them with future in mind, but I also need to practically care for them, feed them, teach them, clean them, etc. Next, I'm a business owner, then daughter, friend, then a member of society... this is what my list looks like and everyone's list will look different! What does yours look like? What kind of responsibilities do you have in those roles and where are you pouring out?

2. Designate days

Now with the roles and responsibilities listed out, it's easier to maneuver through your days knowing which area requires your attention and care! This is a time to write out what your "needs" categories are based on your roles. I love designating my days because it creates enough structure that also allows me to flow in and out of work/create mode when I need to! I like to designate days under these categories for each day of the week: work, play, rest, connect, family, complete, and reset. I find that in this season of life with littles, these are the needs that come up for me, and though I will sometimes get some work done on a 'connect' day, or reset the home a little bit on a 'rest' day, the purpose of designating days is to focus on one goal that whole day so that my brain can rest and I am able to be a little more present no matter what I'm doing. If we are constantly multi-tasking and feeling over-stimulated, that's a fast track to burn out. For me, since I have lots of responsibility having a family, those pressing roles take up most days of the week. I know that this way of planning does not fit in a typical 9-5 schedule, but if you have the ability to create your own work schedule, you could try this method! Before I had kids, I applied this to my interior design schedule and had each day designated to work on something different! It's amazing to see how much I got done simply because I had one main goal for that specific day. You may already do this in your head, but it's easier to track where you're spending most of your time if your write it down. Maybe you have the 'work' and 'rest' days down, but you feel like life is a high contrast between the two and you're not getting much play. Are you filling up your adventure needs? Do you have any hobbies you're investing in? I'm currently working on my "play" bucket getting filled up because so many parts of my life feel very pressing, but play is about more about pleasure and less obligation. Establishing what your needs are based on your roles is a must!

3. Divide your days into three parts

I know this is a given, but instead of seeing your day as one big giant blob to fill up with all your tasks, set 3 things as a goal for yourself for the whole day: one task that you need to get done, one that you want to get done, and another that would be nice to get done. The expectation is set more on the first 'need' goal and the other two goals can be a nice bonus where you can actually feel that healthy accomplishment at the end of the day! In other words, here's your permission to celebrate yourself for staying focused and single-minded while tackling your goals -- each one are a huge win! This will allow you to stay more present and less stressed when it comes to connecting with your loved ones and also get things done!

4. Identify your essential daily tasks

Most days, I have non-negotiables that I will do everything in my power to do, unless if a family emergency happens or for whatever reason I'm not able to do. For many of us (hopefully), an easy non-negotiable is brushing our teeth before we leave the house. Some non-negotiables I have is moving my body (whether that's working out, stretching, or walking), where even though I have a separate process for determining how I workout that given day, it's essential for me. However I can be kind and loving to my body and show up for myself is the goal -- Knowing I am moving energy out of my body either from stress, excitement, sitting too long... moving helps! Another non-negotiable for me is tidying the home at the end of the day. Leaving toys all around the home are my boys' way of expressing themselves... all day long! Haha We like to do a quick sweep through before bath time and everyone can wake up to a clean blank slate, easy to connect and create in! What are your essential tasks?

5. Have a 5 min task list

Sometimes we have those little tasks that are barely noticeable as a "task" but then easily pile up into too many little things... I like to have a separate note on my phone or at my kitchen that is my "5 minute task list" where I list several little tasks that only take 5 minutes to do. That way, instead of scrolling when I have some down time, I can actually replace the batteries I meant to take care of, or switch the laundry, or clean the counters (only if takes 5 minutes haha). You might not think you have tasks that take only 5 minutes, but I bet you probably do! Setting a timer can also help you not lose track of time and can be a fun little motivator and healthy competition!

6. Plan out kids activities & chores

Let me say this with a grain of salt so I don't give anyone a heart attack... there's a way to be ahead of your kids and not have every single little thing planned out for them. If you're doing it and you love it, do what works best for you! Since my oldest goes to school twice a week, I don't need to plan everything out but I like to have morning baskets set out for my boys twice a week (one of them being on a Connect day for me). It sets my mind towards thinking about them and being intentional about engaging and connecting with them in their activity since I can easily become a busy-body in the mornings. I also love to include my kids in the house chores so that I'm not feeling like it's all on me. In my printable weekly planner for moms, I have incorporated a section for kid's activities for the week, and it's the easiest way to think ahead and write it down so that I don't even have to think about it when the day comes.

7. Plan your meals & snacks

Also on my weekly planner, I have a section where I write down my dinners. I don't usually plan out my lunches or breakfasts because breakfasts are usually decided by the kids the night before or morning of (either bacon and eggs with sourdough or pancakes, waffles...). And lunch usually ends up being leftovers from the previous dinner or a salad made up with leftover ingredients. For snacks, instead of digging through the pantry for whatever I feel like having in the moment, I find it much easier to think about my snacks ahead of time when grocery shopping. My boys will eat yogurt pouches and apple slices or snap peas, but I have been trying to incorporate more protein and fiber in my snacks, so I like either air fried chickpeas, a protein smoothie or other fruits and veggie as a snack. I don't put too much into planning my snacks, but I find that I'm much more present and productive in other areas when I don't have to worry about what I'm eating all the time.

8. Create margin with transitions

This can tie in with the section about dividing your days into three parts, but I like to plan my weeks with some breathing room so that I have smoother transitions in between tasks or activities so I have more bandwidth as the day progresses. I am definitely not the type to have every hour scheduled for everyday (especially as a busy mom), so my advice for all the moms out there is to prioritize a few fifteen minute breaks here and there so that your brain can come out of go mode, and get in touch with your existence once again before you go back into "mom mode". Our brains cannot just switch off when we want it to, so we need time to decompress and shift gears. It can be so easy to fill up our calendars with coffee dates, part-time work, errands, home tasks, shuttling our kids and grocery shopping, but the simpler the better. Lately I've been simplifying my days and enjoying either full days at home or one errand run for a couple hours once or twice a week, and it definitely makes such a difference in my ability to slow down and smell the roses when I don't feel like I have fifty things to do before I take a break.

9. Don't forget to plan some play

I touched on it earlier, but incorporating play is essential when learning how to structure your life. I have a journal that contains all my ideas, things I want to accomplish, and also what lights me up and fills me up. As a mom, this list definitely looks different than when I was single and had so much time on my hands, but these days it looks a little more like gardening, exploring, hanging out with a friend, painting, or even just being out in nature. Because I have no problem being a 'doer', needing rest is a given but sometimes I forget that having time for play and pleasure makes such a huge difference in my life. It's like the secret ingredient that keeps me away from chasing rest, and keeps me rejuvenated where I have enough energy to get back to work. Play can easily bring much needed inspiration, gets the blood flow moving, and reminds us of our purpose.

10. Live in your cycle

Women are a wonder! You may be thinking, what do cycles have to do with planning or structuring your life, but since our cycles are determined by our constantly fluctuating hormones, it regularly determines the fluctuations of our energy, metabolism, self-confidence and even social preferences! Cycle Syncing is the practice where women align their decisions around diet, working out, social interactions, and work productivity with their cycle because they operate in alignment with the fluctuations of their body. Living this way really helps us show up as our best self and enhance our overall well-being. If you would like to know more about Cycle Syncing and what those fluctuations are, I made this chart for you! I have been living in my cycle for almost 6 months now and have already learned so much about my body and have a new appreciation for it! Breastfeeding moms will need to wait until their cycle comes back before they can begin tracking again, but the key is tuning into your body, the rising and declining energy you feel, the hunger cues, and even how motivated and introverted/extroverted you may feel at times. It's amazing how much our hormones dictate for us and we can simply reduce guilt and stress by knowing the state our body is in. If have the ability to track your cycle, and you live out and try this method, you will feel like a new and confident woman!

I'm sure there are lots of ways to go about planning your life as a mom, but this is what has really worked for me in this season of life with 3 boys under 5! Of course nothing is ever going to be perfect and things will continue to evolve, but we could all use a little more support and grace when we are doing so much! Whether you're someone who loves a lot of structure and planning or who prefers to be on the looser end of scheduling, I hope these tips are helpful and provide a new way of looking at things in your life. Don't forget to grab my FREE weekly planner as I believe that planning can be fun and lighthearted, and that it's possible to live connection and structure. My heart is that you may come alive in who you were made to be and find yourself wonderfully immersed and present everyday! Til next time!

~ Kristina